It seems pretty low to join someone's blog and then immediately turn around and mock them, but we all know that if the mocking is blog material, one must GO for it (am I a natural or what?).
After I had taken an hour and a half to compose my introduction post (well, you know, give or take 15 minutes...), I showed it to Andrea before the moment of publication (dramatic theme music here). I felt much affirmed by the laughs of glee it evoked from Andrea my proofreader, until she said, in sudden solemnity, "well, there's one thing I'm wondering if you can do with these posts..." and my heart sank. By her tone, I knew I had somehow committed some egregious error and offended her deeply! I KNEW this blog thing was a bad idea! "um, I really don't like it when they're published at an odd time, so would you mind changing it to 8:40?" I stared at her open-mouthed for several minutes until it seemed rude, and then looked down to see that I had been about to click the "publish" button at (horrors!) 8:37!!! So, for all of you who have been amazed at all of Andrea's coincidentally even-numbered posts, be deceived no longer-- some of them are FAKED!! (My sensitive conscience quaking, I asked about the ethics of this "rounding off"-- what about all the poor people who are stalking us and planning their lives around what they assume are exact times of our postings? But she assured me that she has already acquitted herself of all blog-related guilt. Freedom!) Anyway, I must admit (as I'm sure you've all just found after scrolling through the archives), that her times are very aesthetically pleasing.
Andrea and I watched a movie recently about a guy with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), so of course we're both convinced we have it. The above account is evidence of her disease, but I have my own symptoms. Many have probably heard, because my dad delights in telling the story to everyone he comes across, but I have issues with Bite-Size Frosted Mini Wheats (TM). I'm getting a little better, but for years I have had to individually place the tasty morsels into my bowl from the box so that every piece was frosting-side up. I really like F.M.W.s (sounds like initials you'd find in a Warrior Song Book), but I don't always choose them first because they take so long to eat... sigh. But I persevere, because there is a REASON. They TASTE better that way. If you just pour the cereal in any old jumbled way, by the time you get to the bottom, all that's left of the F.M.W. is the M.W., if you know what I mean. It's just all soggy and wheaty! No slightly crunchy sweetness! No reward at the end of a well-consumed bowl of cereal! But if you do it MY way, you get what you paid for from the first bite to the last. The poor lil minis haven't had to suffocate at the bottom of MY bowl, struggling until their frosting is all but forgotten... they reward you for taking the time to eat them correctly.
I'm sure it's clear for all to see that Andrea is the more OCD of the two of us.
[oh, I forgot! Lest people take my advice and run amok with it, don't forget that when you actually get the F.M.W to your mouth, you have to flip it around with your tongue so that the frosting side is connecting with your taste buds...]
11 comments:
I think of you almost every time I eat mini wheats. The next time I come to your house I'm going to get up wicked early and eat the ENTIRE box of F.M.W.'s as an act of true friendship. Some one has to bail you out of your agony and see you get out the door on time. But I do relate to turning them upside down in my mouth. There would be no point to the frosted part otherwise.
As for Andrea's dishonesty, I'm not the same person since I heard the news. And to think I resisted the urge to change my posts for fear of being issued a place in the lake of fire. I'm undone.
Melissa-en-blog!
My cup overflows!
- Lisa-sans-blog
Woooohoooo! it's great to see you posting. And two thumbs up for the PROPER way to eat FMWs! I don't turn them in the bowl, but I do try to scarf them down before the frosting on the last one disolves. If you eat several small bowls instead of one big one, it can be done!
I've almost given up on eating cereal altogether. Any hint of sogginess is unacceptable. If I want to eat cereal, it must be consumed within less than thirty seconds of milk pourage- shoveled into my little my little tummy before the milk has time to corrupt the cereal.
I like the way you remembered to put the all important TM next to the FMW. AND your use of the word egregious. What a gorgeous word.
Woe is me, the swirling vortex of blogdom has sucked my protesting brain inward... downward... argh!there is no escape!
That is SO FUNNY!! I love you too! Speaking of time, I hope nobody reading my blog takes the times seriously. They don't bear any relationship to Israel time or US time either. Maybe I should change them.
Are you going to be up for the family convention this summer?
Does Andrea actually change the time on the blog, or just wait a couple minutes to post it? One I would consider slightly deceptive, the other downright wicked. :-)
laughter, I'm sorry you've been sucked in... isn't it awful? But the good news is, if you're who I think you are, I'm pretty sure I love you a lot.
Katie, I hate to shatter your image of her, but at times Andrea is in the downright wicked category. And about the FamCon, oh, you know... I don't know. I'll probably make an appearance or two, but I don't think I'll stick around all week.
I'm confused. How can she not like posting on odd numbers, but loves #11? Out of interest, does anyone ever even look to see when a post is written? Speaking as a sane normal guy, I don't. I will admit to almost alway checking the posting time on comments though. OF course there is a difference.
Ok, Mel, you are just twisted. If you DON'T have OCD, then you should be very worried...
Hi, I'm new to this site. I think I will have to visit often to make sure you two girls haven't fallen off the deep end. You seem to be teetering.
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