Today I apologized to my older students for the fact that I've had no sense of humor this year. One of them replied, "Yeah. Why is that?" I told him it was because my illusions of grandeur had come crashing down. The conversation turned after that, so I didn't explain (not that I could have fully explained anyway, since he's a student...).
The fact is, I have discovered I am definitely not super-teacher, I've just had really super kids. Not that I thought I was super-teacher before - I knew my weaknesses - but I thought I was pretty good.
And then this year happened, in which I have a student I absolutely cannot control. He gets my goat EVERY SINGLE DAY, and I simply cannot handle him.
And then I think about my other students, who give me tons of words of affirmation, as well as occasional gift cards, guitar strings, photo albums, handmade scarves, candles, notepads, and pictures that say "Miss Murray Rocks" on them. What kind of adversity is that?! It's easy to think you're good when your students are as kind and generous as they are!
But this kid's idea of a joke is to mutter "I hate you" and then say he was talking to his imaginary friend (don't worry, I didn't let him get away with it... nor do I think he really hates me. He just thinks that kind of thing is a good joke. I do not.), or to walk as circuitously and swaggeringly to his desk as possible when I tell him to sit down. I just don't know how to reach him, and (this is the worst part) most of the time I don't even want to. I am not super-teacher after all.
In a recent staff meeting, however, I was greatly encouraged, when the headmaster pointed out that the most important thing we can do is love our students, especially those who (like this particular student) have faced incredibly difficult things in their lives. I've thought of that pretty much every day since then, and have found some moments where the two of us could laugh together, or I could interject some affirming word.
Also, I'm greatly encouraged by the fact that today, when I was about to complain to someone and let out a mighty wail, I remembered to pray instead. I've been preaching that to my older students all year: go to God FIRST. And I finally remembered to do it myself. The day ended up so well!
So I guess it all comes down to this: I know I am a good teacher in some ways (I'm not feeling TOO down on myself, don't worry - haha), but I also know I have as many weaknesses as the next guy (or more) and am in desperate need of the help of God to make me the kind of teacher I need to be. I think this is a pretty good place to be.
Illusions out - faith in.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Latest Kick...
So recently I was pretty stressed about school and life and such, and found myself in a bit of a complaining place. When my students are in their complaining place I give them inspiring lectures about how life is 5% what happens to you and 95% how you react to it. But when I am in a complaining place I am totally justified! Haha. No, actually, I realize that I do not belong in a complaining place. No child of God does!
So now I'm trying to be in a thankful place. I remember those notebooks Gerry passed out one 9:00 hour in which we were to write down 5 (or was it 10?) things to be thankful for at the end of each day. I haven't actually picked that up again, but those are the lines along which I'm going to be trying to live.
So in that spirit, here are 5 things I'm thankful for today:
#1. That I only had to take TWO extra classes today thanks to another teacher's illness.
#2. That staff meeting only went for an HOUR.
#3. That I wasn't SO tired that I fell asleep on the way home from school.
#4. That only TWO of my students were on their worst behavior today.
#5. That my landlady called me to see what that noise was AFTER I was all done exercising.
Hee hee hee - I'm totally kidding! My day actually went very well:)
So here's the real list:
#1. That I have the world's best students.
#2. That staff meeting offered a timely and inspiring reminder that what my students need most is love.
#3. That I have amazing co-workers.
#4. My incredibly darling apartment, which has become a place of refuge and refreshment.
#5. That I get to read P.G. Wodehouse tonight!
#6. That my student who missed 2 algebra classes last week easily caught up today (what a guy!).
#7. That my headmaster is pleased with what I'm doing with the high school in Chorus.
Looky there! Two bonuses. Life is good:)
So now I'm trying to be in a thankful place. I remember those notebooks Gerry passed out one 9:00 hour in which we were to write down 5 (or was it 10?) things to be thankful for at the end of each day. I haven't actually picked that up again, but those are the lines along which I'm going to be trying to live.
So in that spirit, here are 5 things I'm thankful for today:
#1. That I only had to take TWO extra classes today thanks to another teacher's illness.
#2. That staff meeting only went for an HOUR.
#3. That I wasn't SO tired that I fell asleep on the way home from school.
#4. That only TWO of my students were on their worst behavior today.
#5. That my landlady called me to see what that noise was AFTER I was all done exercising.
Hee hee hee - I'm totally kidding! My day actually went very well:)
So here's the real list:
#1. That I have the world's best students.
#2. That staff meeting offered a timely and inspiring reminder that what my students need most is love.
#3. That I have amazing co-workers.
#4. My incredibly darling apartment, which has become a place of refuge and refreshment.
#5. That I get to read P.G. Wodehouse tonight!
#6. That my student who missed 2 algebra classes last week easily caught up today (what a guy!).
#7. That my headmaster is pleased with what I'm doing with the high school in Chorus.
Looky there! Two bonuses. Life is good:)
Monday, October 19, 2009
That's Like...
I remember watching this video in Bible School about good learners. It informed us that good learners make connections in their minds with other knowledge. They hear something and say, "That's like..." Anyone remember that video?
Anyway. My students are GOOD LEARNERS! And here are some examples.
Example 1
I just heard from one of my no-longer-at-our-school students, who related to me a recent conversation (which I'll take some liberties with, but leave the relevant part word for word). I will call my student "my kid" and the other kids (who are important only in that they are the backdrop against which my kid shines) "kid 1" and "kid 2."
Kid 1: Dude, practice is at 3.
Kid 2: No way, it's totally 3:30!
Kid 1: Were you even listening?
My Kid (putting his hand on kid 2's shoulder): There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophies.
Kid 2: ??????
YESSSS! My kid quotes Shakespeare to his buddies!
Example 2
In class we were talking about Chaucer's Knight's Tale, and the part where Arcita sneaks across the border dressed as a servant, and serves willingly for 7 years to win his love (sounds vaguely Biblical, eh?). One of my students - just a regular one, not a super-brilliant one - piped up and said, "That's like Odysseus coming back to his country." WHA--? You are remembering such a small detail. And from LAST YEAR? Glory be!
Example 3
In another class we are reading Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing," and I was assigning parts and writing each student's name on the board next to his part. One of my less-enthusiastic-about-literature students said he didn't want to be anyone. So I put his name on the board and then wrote "no one" next to it. One of my other students suggested that he be Kent, from last year's The Next Fine Day, since in that book he describes himself as "no one." YESSSSSS!
Example 4
Also in "Much Ado About Nothing," a different kid raised his hand when I brought up the idea of stoicism. "Isn't that kind of like Jane Eyre's cousin? The one who was too much on the side of reason without having the balance of emotion?" Ay ay ay! Who even knows Jane Eyre's cousin?!
I'm pretty sure half of my kids are smarter than I am. But I try not to let on.
Anyway. My students are GOOD LEARNERS! And here are some examples.
Example 1
I just heard from one of my no-longer-at-our-school students, who related to me a recent conversation (which I'll take some liberties with, but leave the relevant part word for word). I will call my student "my kid" and the other kids (who are important only in that they are the backdrop against which my kid shines) "kid 1" and "kid 2."
Kid 1: Dude, practice is at 3.
Kid 2: No way, it's totally 3:30!
Kid 1: Were you even listening?
My Kid (putting his hand on kid 2's shoulder): There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophies.
Kid 2: ??????
YESSSS! My kid quotes Shakespeare to his buddies!
Example 2
In class we were talking about Chaucer's Knight's Tale, and the part where Arcita sneaks across the border dressed as a servant, and serves willingly for 7 years to win his love (sounds vaguely Biblical, eh?). One of my students - just a regular one, not a super-brilliant one - piped up and said, "That's like Odysseus coming back to his country." WHA--? You are remembering such a small detail. And from LAST YEAR? Glory be!
Example 3
In another class we are reading Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing," and I was assigning parts and writing each student's name on the board next to his part. One of my less-enthusiastic-about-literature students said he didn't want to be anyone. So I put his name on the board and then wrote "no one" next to it. One of my other students suggested that he be Kent, from last year's The Next Fine Day, since in that book he describes himself as "no one." YESSSSSS!
Example 4
Also in "Much Ado About Nothing," a different kid raised his hand when I brought up the idea of stoicism. "Isn't that kind of like Jane Eyre's cousin? The one who was too much on the side of reason without having the balance of emotion?" Ay ay ay! Who even knows Jane Eyre's cousin?!
I'm pretty sure half of my kids are smarter than I am. But I try not to let on.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
People, People, We Need People!
In a recent conversation with a struggling friend, she told me she was trying not to talk to other people in her time of need, but instead rely only on God. This sent up the warning flags in my mind. The more I see, the more I begin to understand the dangers of isolationism. It leads to all KINDS of trouble. So I encouraged her to definitely rely more on God, but not to cut off the people God placed in her life to help her. And she said, Okay, and placed a phone call then and there. Wow! For a second I was a little nervous - she was totally changing her mind based on something I said. It's only me here, not some really wise leader-type person. But then I stopped being nervous, because whether or not it was I who was saying it, it's the truth.
Some of this conviction is colored by my studies in American Lit in college. So many of the great American authors wrote about the dangers of isolationism (look at some of Poe's madmen and Melville's Captain Ahab), and the salvific nature of friendship (see Cooper's Hawkeye and Chingachgook or Melville's Ishmael and Queequeg). It's very convincing to read about.
But some of this is colored by my own observations and experience. I can look back at my college experience and see how my getting together with my Bible School friends every couple of months really saved me from some potentially harmful things. I see how much I miss that now, being pretty much alone here in RI, and how important it is for me to get home and see people again on a regular basis. Sometimes (not right now, thankfully) I have felt starved for real fellowship, and when it came I felt like I was one of Gideon's men, lapping up the water as fast as I could.
Also, I've seen the way that I can stew over something in my own mind, turning it around and around, failing to find an answer. I can see how that could lead to confusion and disillusionment. But a simple phone call, and the ensuing conversation, was like a key that clicked into the lock, and suddenly there was the answer as plain as could be. I couldn't figure it out on my own - I needed someone else to show me that little angle I was missing.
So the point of all of this is that we need other people! That being said, I'm getting off this computer so I can go see my neighbors! :)
Some of this conviction is colored by my studies in American Lit in college. So many of the great American authors wrote about the dangers of isolationism (look at some of Poe's madmen and Melville's Captain Ahab), and the salvific nature of friendship (see Cooper's Hawkeye and Chingachgook or Melville's Ishmael and Queequeg). It's very convincing to read about.
But some of this is colored by my own observations and experience. I can look back at my college experience and see how my getting together with my Bible School friends every couple of months really saved me from some potentially harmful things. I see how much I miss that now, being pretty much alone here in RI, and how important it is for me to get home and see people again on a regular basis. Sometimes (not right now, thankfully) I have felt starved for real fellowship, and when it came I felt like I was one of Gideon's men, lapping up the water as fast as I could.
Also, I've seen the way that I can stew over something in my own mind, turning it around and around, failing to find an answer. I can see how that could lead to confusion and disillusionment. But a simple phone call, and the ensuing conversation, was like a key that clicked into the lock, and suddenly there was the answer as plain as could be. I couldn't figure it out on my own - I needed someone else to show me that little angle I was missing.
So the point of all of this is that we need other people! That being said, I'm getting off this computer so I can go see my neighbors! :)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Crazy Busy (as they say...)
I am running around like a crazy woman these days - but enjoying it immensely. When I don't have enough to do I tend to waste time, but when I have too much I'm wicked productive. Amazing how that works...
Things occupying my time:
#1. New class - DRAMA! I have to do all kinds of things besides the regular reading and grading, such as blocking, ordering books on victorian fashion, and stressing about when the plays will arrive. I'm loving it though! My high school kids will be performing "Charlie's Aunt" in May (or so) and it's going to be hysterical. Many thanks to Chad for the play idea!
#2. Chorus! I'm singing with a Newport chorus for the second year, and loving it all over again. We sight-read Bruckner last week, and I can't believe how much fun it was. This week, though, we had only one first soprano, so I was going up to all kinds of A's, and I'm sure my vocal chords were starting to seize. Ay ay ay.
#3. Exercise! I'm on a healthy kick for a second, and I've been doing these work-out videos in my apartment. Hahaha! The instructor person, with an incredible amount of cheer and excitement, shrieks out for me to do a "Quick Step Caligulan Grapevine Swing Double Time Loop" and I'm in the strangest contortions, trying to figure out what happened to my right foot... Good times.
#4. Extracurricular Activities! I've agreed to help my dear friend on staff run the Christmas play, and we're having such fun with it! It's a clever series of monologues, basically, about different figures in the Christmas story. It includes a solo for Mary to sing, and after playing through it today and finding it not even close to satisfactory, I've taken on the job of "tweaking" the song. Should be fun.... Um, Craig? Aaron? Anyone??
#5. Grading! Actually, I've always had grading - it follows me around like crows follow an eagle - but I bring it up now because it is what I am supposed to be doing, and it gets the credit for this blog post, since I suddenly decided that in the light of all that grading, a blog was the most sensible thing to be working on.
Hurrah for lots to keep me occupied!
Things occupying my time:
#1. New class - DRAMA! I have to do all kinds of things besides the regular reading and grading, such as blocking, ordering books on victorian fashion, and stressing about when the plays will arrive. I'm loving it though! My high school kids will be performing "Charlie's Aunt" in May (or so) and it's going to be hysterical. Many thanks to Chad for the play idea!
#2. Chorus! I'm singing with a Newport chorus for the second year, and loving it all over again. We sight-read Bruckner last week, and I can't believe how much fun it was. This week, though, we had only one first soprano, so I was going up to all kinds of A's, and I'm sure my vocal chords were starting to seize. Ay ay ay.
#3. Exercise! I'm on a healthy kick for a second, and I've been doing these work-out videos in my apartment. Hahaha! The instructor person, with an incredible amount of cheer and excitement, shrieks out for me to do a "Quick Step Caligulan Grapevine Swing Double Time Loop" and I'm in the strangest contortions, trying to figure out what happened to my right foot... Good times.
#4. Extracurricular Activities! I've agreed to help my dear friend on staff run the Christmas play, and we're having such fun with it! It's a clever series of monologues, basically, about different figures in the Christmas story. It includes a solo for Mary to sing, and after playing through it today and finding it not even close to satisfactory, I've taken on the job of "tweaking" the song. Should be fun.... Um, Craig? Aaron? Anyone??
#5. Grading! Actually, I've always had grading - it follows me around like crows follow an eagle - but I bring it up now because it is what I am supposed to be doing, and it gets the credit for this blog post, since I suddenly decided that in the light of all that grading, a blog was the most sensible thing to be working on.
Hurrah for lots to keep me occupied!
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Celebration!!!
I'm an auntie again!!
My beautiful niece, Caledonia Jean, was born this morning.
I got to spend several hours with her and her family today, and enjoyed every second. I'm smitten!
My beautiful niece, Caledonia Jean, was born this morning.
I got to spend several hours with her and her family today, and enjoyed every second. I'm smitten!
Saturday, October 03, 2009
"Christians NEVER say goodbye!" - C. S. Lewis
If death my friend and me divide,
Thou dost not, Lord, my sorrow chide,
Or frown my tears to see;
Restrained from passionate excess,
Thou bidst me mourn in calm distress
For them that rest in thee.
I feel a strong immortal hope,
Which bears my mournful spirit up
Beneath its mountain load;
Redeemed from death, and grief, and pain,
I soon shall find my friend again
Within the arms of God.
Pass a few fleeting moments more
And death the blessing shall restore
Which death has snatched away;
For me thou wilt the summons send,
And give me back my parted friend
In that eternal day.
- Charles Wesley
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