The other night Gretchen was down again, looking through home school stuff, and getting me to write out a copy of the poem listing the kings of England that I'd made my Brit Lit students memorize.
Willie, Willie, Harry, Steve,
Harry, Dick, John, Harry Three,
Edward One, Two, Three, Dick Two,
Harry Four, Five, Six, then who?
Etc.
Dad and Mom were reading, meanwhile, and Kimberly was working on a summer assignment for her ESL course. She interrupted our various reveries to say that she was supposed to give a report of how she liked the course, and she was just going to say it was good, even though she hated it and they were a bunch of liberal nitwits (to borrow a phrase from Karen's husband).
We all shrieked in protest and said that she should raise the issues that she had with the class. Suddenly, Dad broke out into Shakespearean poetry.
"Stiffen the sinews! Summon up the blood! Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage; Then lend the eye a terrible aspect."
Gretchen, in full agreement, chimed in with "Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel!"
Mama, not to be outdone, cried, "Listen my children and you shall hear!"
And I, saving the best for last, bleated, "Willie, Willie, Harry, Steve!"
I think Kimberly was very inspired, and found the courage to raise the issues after all. A day well spent. Poetry rocks.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
The Long-Awaited Tale of How Gretchen is the Hero of the (my) Universe
If you will, please recall the post I wrote concerning the computer store. Place yourself back in that environment, and hear my voice breaking into the largeness to say that I was not exactly rolling in wealth, and would like an assessment before any work was done.
Now move forward several days to my phone ringing in the living room. I pick it up to hear that my computer is ready, the problem sort of fixed, and the bill $120.
Gulp.
I drove into Keene already frustrated with some plans that had fallen through, and had an annoying time running a couple of errands. Needless to say I was not in the best frame of mind for arriving at the computer store. I walked in to find only the little man. That was one break, anyway. He proceeded to tell me that my computer was fixed, and would no longer randomly blink off... unless I tipped it sideways or picked it up from underneath.
??
He then wanted to demonstrate that it would still work when I picked it up from the sides. He booted it up, picked it up, and all was well. Well that was good - at least something was working right.
But then he also felt it necessary to show me that it would freeze/blink off if I tipped it. He tipped it. Sure enough it froze. Greeeat. But THEN he wanted to show me that it would also do that if picked up from underneath.
In case you aren't keeping track, that meant that I was standing there over the course of THREE boot-ups of the computer. And mine doesn't exactly zip through the speed up process. So all I want to do is get out of there, and instead I'm standing there watching my problematic computer have clock-work-like problems.
FINally, after carefully writing down FOUR possible anti-virus/anti-spyware programs I might want to look into, he released me.
I trudged to my car and went home. I stopped by Gretchen's to drop off a gallon of milk, and told her what had happened. She was very annoyed on my behalf. It is good to have siblings who will support you in your angst.
Then I popped by the garage to drop off Kimberly's car (I'd borrowed it to take, but Gerry was going to be doing some work on it), and met Gerry coming down the hill. We were about to carry on a conversation when my hair got stuck in Kimberly's rear-view mirror decor, and I absolutely blew up in one long roared "THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER!!!!!!"
Gerry said something along the lines of "Hmmm, maybe this isn't the best time to ask you if you'll do the children's part of 9:00 hour tomorrow..." Hahahahaha :)
Then Gretchen came along and explained that I'd just paid a lot of money for not really getting my computer fixed, and without an assessment ahead of time. Gerry looked properly shocked and horrified. He's the best!
I went home and decided to read my troubles away in the hammock (that will cover a multitude of sins!).
But then I heard Gretchen call from her house to Shawn, who was in the garden, "I'm going to save the day!" Or something like that. And suddenly I looked at the leaves above me with a wild surmise. Was it possible?!
Sure enough, my phone rang. It was Gretchen. "I'm going in to Keene to get your money back. Want to come?" I leapt from the hammock in amazement and ran into the house for my shoes.
As I got into the car my interrogation began. She explained. She'd called the computer store and asked for the (loud) boss, but discovered he wasn't there. It was still the small man by himself. So she said, "Well, we have a problem... " and explained how things were and said "I think we need to come get her money back." And he said, "I'll be here until 5:30."
WOWZER!
As we zipped in I said I did NOT want to go in, I was just along for the ride. My non-confrontational nature wanted nothing to do with going in there and accusing him (more or less) of robbing me blind (is that the expression? I wonder why? Why blind? Anyway...). I even mentioned the possibility of being dropped off a block down the road in case he should see me out the window. It was, after all, besides being a confrontational situation, a little embarrassing that I needed my sister to do my dirty work for me...
I ended up sitting in the parking lot after all, while Gretchen went in. Imagine my incredible consternation when all of a sudden I heard Gretchen's voice calling from the door "We're having a great time in here! You should come in!"
WHAT?!?! She had just revealed my presence in the car to the very man I was hiding from! What was she thinking! I slinked down a little in my seat in horror, and hoped she wouldn't be too much longer.
About 10 minutes later she called out AGAIN. "Andrea, you really should come in - we're having a great time!" OH MY WORD. I called up Kimberly in my desperation. "What is she doing?!?" She pointed out that she was probably just in social mode, which I saw was probably true. But oh my word. Then I saw her come out of the store WITH HIM. I thought I would melt away and die on the spot. I slunk down realllly low, and she got into the car as I was saying to Kimberly "Stay on the line with me in case he comes over!" hoping that he would see I was engaged in conversation and couldn't chat. Fortunately there was no need, the man was just coming out to remove the open sign.
So as I said goodbye to KJ and we cleared the parking lot I said "What in the world were you doing?!?!" She was horrified to find out how mad I was, and hastened to explain. She thought I didn't want to come in because I didn't want to embarrass him (which was true, partly), and when she saw how well the conversation was going, and that he was a Christian, and that he insisted upon our taking all the money, even though were were willing to leave some (she finally did talk him into taking a little), and that the random call I got from the loud boss requesting me to remind him of the problem (um, it clicks off every two seconds, pal, didn't you notice that?) was supposed to be the call giving me the estimate, and that he felt terrible about it, she realized that the coast was clear and amicable should I desire to come in for reconciliation. By the time I heard all of that all was well in my soul, I was giggling, and I didn't even mind that she'd invited him to church:)
PHEW!
So let's recap: I got totally gypped, just like all girls are supposed to be in mechanical situations, and my big sister jumped into the fray and got me my money back! Hurrah for HER! She already was my hero - but now I have even more evidence of her heroism.
Now move forward several days to my phone ringing in the living room. I pick it up to hear that my computer is ready, the problem sort of fixed, and the bill $120.
Gulp.
I drove into Keene already frustrated with some plans that had fallen through, and had an annoying time running a couple of errands. Needless to say I was not in the best frame of mind for arriving at the computer store. I walked in to find only the little man. That was one break, anyway. He proceeded to tell me that my computer was fixed, and would no longer randomly blink off... unless I tipped it sideways or picked it up from underneath.
??
He then wanted to demonstrate that it would still work when I picked it up from the sides. He booted it up, picked it up, and all was well. Well that was good - at least something was working right.
But then he also felt it necessary to show me that it would freeze/blink off if I tipped it. He tipped it. Sure enough it froze. Greeeat. But THEN he wanted to show me that it would also do that if picked up from underneath.
In case you aren't keeping track, that meant that I was standing there over the course of THREE boot-ups of the computer. And mine doesn't exactly zip through the speed up process. So all I want to do is get out of there, and instead I'm standing there watching my problematic computer have clock-work-like problems.
FINally, after carefully writing down FOUR possible anti-virus/anti-spyware programs I might want to look into, he released me.
I trudged to my car and went home. I stopped by Gretchen's to drop off a gallon of milk, and told her what had happened. She was very annoyed on my behalf. It is good to have siblings who will support you in your angst.
Then I popped by the garage to drop off Kimberly's car (I'd borrowed it to take, but Gerry was going to be doing some work on it), and met Gerry coming down the hill. We were about to carry on a conversation when my hair got stuck in Kimberly's rear-view mirror decor, and I absolutely blew up in one long roared "THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER!!!!!!"
Gerry said something along the lines of "Hmmm, maybe this isn't the best time to ask you if you'll do the children's part of 9:00 hour tomorrow..." Hahahahaha :)
Then Gretchen came along and explained that I'd just paid a lot of money for not really getting my computer fixed, and without an assessment ahead of time. Gerry looked properly shocked and horrified. He's the best!
I went home and decided to read my troubles away in the hammock (that will cover a multitude of sins!).
But then I heard Gretchen call from her house to Shawn, who was in the garden, "I'm going to save the day!" Or something like that. And suddenly I looked at the leaves above me with a wild surmise. Was it possible?!
Sure enough, my phone rang. It was Gretchen. "I'm going in to Keene to get your money back. Want to come?" I leapt from the hammock in amazement and ran into the house for my shoes.
As I got into the car my interrogation began. She explained. She'd called the computer store and asked for the (loud) boss, but discovered he wasn't there. It was still the small man by himself. So she said, "Well, we have a problem... " and explained how things were and said "I think we need to come get her money back." And he said, "I'll be here until 5:30."
WOWZER!
As we zipped in I said I did NOT want to go in, I was just along for the ride. My non-confrontational nature wanted nothing to do with going in there and accusing him (more or less) of robbing me blind (is that the expression? I wonder why? Why blind? Anyway...). I even mentioned the possibility of being dropped off a block down the road in case he should see me out the window. It was, after all, besides being a confrontational situation, a little embarrassing that I needed my sister to do my dirty work for me...
I ended up sitting in the parking lot after all, while Gretchen went in. Imagine my incredible consternation when all of a sudden I heard Gretchen's voice calling from the door "We're having a great time in here! You should come in!"
WHAT?!?! She had just revealed my presence in the car to the very man I was hiding from! What was she thinking! I slinked down a little in my seat in horror, and hoped she wouldn't be too much longer.
About 10 minutes later she called out AGAIN. "Andrea, you really should come in - we're having a great time!" OH MY WORD. I called up Kimberly in my desperation. "What is she doing?!?" She pointed out that she was probably just in social mode, which I saw was probably true. But oh my word. Then I saw her come out of the store WITH HIM. I thought I would melt away and die on the spot. I slunk down realllly low, and she got into the car as I was saying to Kimberly "Stay on the line with me in case he comes over!" hoping that he would see I was engaged in conversation and couldn't chat. Fortunately there was no need, the man was just coming out to remove the open sign.
So as I said goodbye to KJ and we cleared the parking lot I said "What in the world were you doing?!?!" She was horrified to find out how mad I was, and hastened to explain. She thought I didn't want to come in because I didn't want to embarrass him (which was true, partly), and when she saw how well the conversation was going, and that he was a Christian, and that he insisted upon our taking all the money, even though were were willing to leave some (she finally did talk him into taking a little), and that the random call I got from the loud boss requesting me to remind him of the problem (um, it clicks off every two seconds, pal, didn't you notice that?) was supposed to be the call giving me the estimate, and that he felt terrible about it, she realized that the coast was clear and amicable should I desire to come in for reconciliation. By the time I heard all of that all was well in my soul, I was giggling, and I didn't even mind that she'd invited him to church:)
PHEW!
So let's recap: I got totally gypped, just like all girls are supposed to be in mechanical situations, and my big sister jumped into the fray and got me my money back! Hurrah for HER! She already was my hero - but now I have even more evidence of her heroism.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
From "The Mill on the Floss" by George Eliot (who was a woman)
He had small opinion of Saladin, whose scimitar could cut a cushion in two in an instant; who wanted to cut cushions? That was a stupid story, and he didn't care to hear it again. But when Robert Bruce, on the black pony, rose in his stirrups, and lifting his good battle-axe, cracked at once the helmet and the skull of the too hasty knight at Bannockburn, then Tom felt all the exaltation of sympathy, and if he had had a cocoa-nut at hand, he would have cracked it at once with the poker.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Just a Quickie
Today I was home alone, and had home-owners paranoia. I was about to drive out with Katie, but asked if we could swing by my house just to make sure I turned the fan off... Anyway, this paranoia lingered a bit into the night. I was just sitting at my desk when I caught something strange out of the corner of my eye. A glowing thing on the lawn. FIRE?! Noooo, not moving. (phew) OH! It was the orange-y moon, reflecting in the swamp! Very cool.
So I bet you're wondering where Katie and I were going, aren't you? Well, I will tell you. We went to a free concert at the Dublin School! It was given by tenor vocalist Issachah Savage, a ha-UGE black man (all good tenors are huge, aren't they?) who, we discovered, is the possessor of an incredible voice. We heard Greek folk songs and Elizabethan songs and Spirituals (never have I heard a Spiritual so authentically sung), and he ended with an encore of Amazing Grace, inviting the audience to join in. A fabulous Sabbath evening! It reminded me a little of the concerts we went to in Jerusalem... minus the view. Anyway, we went on a chance, and discovered a gem.
And I bet you're still wondering about Gretchen's heroism, aren't you! But this is to be a quickie, so you'll have to just wait a leeeeeetle longer.
So I bet you're wondering where Katie and I were going, aren't you? Well, I will tell you. We went to a free concert at the Dublin School! It was given by tenor vocalist Issachah Savage, a ha-UGE black man (all good tenors are huge, aren't they?) who, we discovered, is the possessor of an incredible voice. We heard Greek folk songs and Elizabethan songs and Spirituals (never have I heard a Spiritual so authentically sung), and he ended with an encore of Amazing Grace, inviting the audience to join in. A fabulous Sabbath evening! It reminded me a little of the concerts we went to in Jerusalem... minus the view. Anyway, we went on a chance, and discovered a gem.
And I bet you're still wondering about Gretchen's heroism, aren't you! But this is to be a quickie, so you'll have to just wait a leeeeeetle longer.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
The Computer Store: A Character Study
Soooooo, my computer has been very sketchy lately - randomly popping off in the middle of my work and such. At first it just turned itself off if I moved it, but then it started doing it with disturbing regularity whether I moved it or not. So I decided it was time for drastic measures. I drove it to the computer store in Keene. Katie (oh joy! oh delight!) accompanied me (I'm really glad she's home from Israel!).
We walked in and found ourselves in a small, dark room, strewn with computers and partial-computers. The walls had various computer articles, comic strips, and strange cartoon/anime type figures.
As our eyes adjusted to the dim interior we discovered two men to be present. The one closest to the door boomed out a greeting of some kind. He did not stop booming for the next 20 minutes or so, until we had safely retreated to our car. He was a large man, with a large mouth, and very large opinions that he largely expressed to the world. He should live in Brooklyn, methinks. He bellowed on about hating Mondays (due to how well the margaritas went down the night before...), his wife's finally being off crutches, his tomato wine recipe, and a little about computers and how honest he is.
The other man took a little noticing, because he was, in comparison, small. He was a little shorter than I am, and much, much quieter. He puttered about looking for parts for Katie's computer while the large man roared about how much more cheaply he could sell it than other people. The small man couldn't find the part, and retired to the corner of the shop to quietly see what he could discover online.
Meanwhile, the large man got a phone call. Ahhh, a reprieve, thought Katie and I. Not so. It was a telemarketer, and our large subject is not a fan of telemarketers. I have never heard a person so very abused by another person. Sworn at, yes. Yelled at, yes. But thoroughly scalded in such a manner? Wow. Katie and I vainly pretended to be carrying on a conversation about Turkey, but there was still a very awkward pause when the large man ceased his venomous attack and slammed the phone down.
The quiet man, reluctant to break into our pretend conversation, for fear of asserting himself where he was not wanted, waited for a pause in our discourse to let us know the approximate price of the part she needed.
The large man then burst in with his opinion on the part, and of the allusion to ebay, and we thanked everyone (several times, because they were loath to let us go - the large man sad to lose his captive audience, the small man sad to lose anyone who free him from being the captive audience), and sidled out the door as fast as we could without being too abrupt.
We got back to the car laughing to ourselves, and I thought, "This would be great to blog about." Thank goodness for small men, no matter what their size, is what I have to say!
And I need to blog soon about how Gretchen is the HERO OF THE UNIVERSE! (Or at least of my universe!)
We walked in and found ourselves in a small, dark room, strewn with computers and partial-computers. The walls had various computer articles, comic strips, and strange cartoon/anime type figures.
As our eyes adjusted to the dim interior we discovered two men to be present. The one closest to the door boomed out a greeting of some kind. He did not stop booming for the next 20 minutes or so, until we had safely retreated to our car. He was a large man, with a large mouth, and very large opinions that he largely expressed to the world. He should live in Brooklyn, methinks. He bellowed on about hating Mondays (due to how well the margaritas went down the night before...), his wife's finally being off crutches, his tomato wine recipe, and a little about computers and how honest he is.
The other man took a little noticing, because he was, in comparison, small. He was a little shorter than I am, and much, much quieter. He puttered about looking for parts for Katie's computer while the large man roared about how much more cheaply he could sell it than other people. The small man couldn't find the part, and retired to the corner of the shop to quietly see what he could discover online.
Meanwhile, the large man got a phone call. Ahhh, a reprieve, thought Katie and I. Not so. It was a telemarketer, and our large subject is not a fan of telemarketers. I have never heard a person so very abused by another person. Sworn at, yes. Yelled at, yes. But thoroughly scalded in such a manner? Wow. Katie and I vainly pretended to be carrying on a conversation about Turkey, but there was still a very awkward pause when the large man ceased his venomous attack and slammed the phone down.
The quiet man, reluctant to break into our pretend conversation, for fear of asserting himself where he was not wanted, waited for a pause in our discourse to let us know the approximate price of the part she needed.
The large man then burst in with his opinion on the part, and of the allusion to ebay, and we thanked everyone (several times, because they were loath to let us go - the large man sad to lose his captive audience, the small man sad to lose anyone who free him from being the captive audience), and sidled out the door as fast as we could without being too abrupt.
We got back to the car laughing to ourselves, and I thought, "This would be great to blog about." Thank goodness for small men, no matter what their size, is what I have to say!
And I need to blog soon about how Gretchen is the HERO OF THE UNIVERSE! (Or at least of my universe!)
Monday, July 14, 2008
LOOK! I'M BLOGGING!
However, I did have to ask Kimberly how to get to the place where you write on your blog because I couldn't remember. That's sad. Also sad is that my last post was on MAY 7! Oy vay. Gretchen said she doesn't even check it anymore, but Daddy said he checks it repeatedly. "I keep seeing the funniest thing you've ever heard, or whatever it was."
"Which was funny!" Gretchen affirmed.
Anyway, I'm starting small here, as I get back into this... I'm just going to report three funny quotes that were uttered in our house recently.
The first came when Danny came down to pick up his boys who'd been playing at our house. There was a softball game scheduled for the evening, but thunder clouds were fast building.
"It's going to be a great softball game!" I said.
"Yeah. Struck by lightning in centerfield," he replied. "He's going back... back... ZAP! He's GONE!"
The second came last night when I came traipsing down the stairs from my room, and told my family "You lucky people, you! I have been smitten with the desire to sing!" As I was sailing on by to go downstairs to the piano, Mama said, "That's nice, dear! Can you shut the door as you go by?"
(She actually meant the door to the porch, but it certainly was great timing.)
The third came this evening when Mama came in wondering where her duster was. "Do you girls have it upstairs?" "Ha!" I responded. "I haven't dusted since the Fall! ...of man, that is."
So really I'm just posting this to show the world that I was funny. But other people's funniness preceded it, and I was reading Ann Coulter, so I was well prepped.
In fact, Daddy, KJ, Gretchen and I are all here reading (well, I was right before I got onto blogger), and we keep reading favorite lines to each other.
Gretchen is reading "The Politically Incorrect Guide to Western Civilization," which I just picked up with Dad at Borders today. We went together so he could pick out his birthday present and that was what he selected. I was in the store looking at the cover, and reading down the list of things "your college professor didn't tell you." I was reading along and thinking, "MINE told me that!" when I got to the bottom of the list and saw the author's name: Anthony Esolen. Wait a minute! That WAS my college professor!! Sure enough, I flipped it over and saw "An English Professor at Providence College..." I started squeaking and jumping up and down in Borders I was so excited. Fortunately Dad recommended that I take it easy before I made a complete spectacle of myself:) It was SO COOL! Now everyone go buy the book - it's AWESOME. Gretchen has read aloud some very funny things already, and Katie was reading it out loud to me earlier while she was waiting for me to finish up so we could go to Keene and get our computers fixed together... But that's a story for another day. I'm supposed to be starting small here!
Yay! That was fun! I should post more often. I love summertime!
"Which was funny!" Gretchen affirmed.
Anyway, I'm starting small here, as I get back into this... I'm just going to report three funny quotes that were uttered in our house recently.
The first came when Danny came down to pick up his boys who'd been playing at our house. There was a softball game scheduled for the evening, but thunder clouds were fast building.
"It's going to be a great softball game!" I said.
"Yeah. Struck by lightning in centerfield," he replied. "He's going back... back... ZAP! He's GONE!"
The second came last night when I came traipsing down the stairs from my room, and told my family "You lucky people, you! I have been smitten with the desire to sing!" As I was sailing on by to go downstairs to the piano, Mama said, "That's nice, dear! Can you shut the door as you go by?"
(She actually meant the door to the porch, but it certainly was great timing.)
The third came this evening when Mama came in wondering where her duster was. "Do you girls have it upstairs?" "Ha!" I responded. "I haven't dusted since the Fall! ...of man, that is."
So really I'm just posting this to show the world that I was funny. But other people's funniness preceded it, and I was reading Ann Coulter, so I was well prepped.
In fact, Daddy, KJ, Gretchen and I are all here reading (well, I was right before I got onto blogger), and we keep reading favorite lines to each other.
Gretchen is reading "The Politically Incorrect Guide to Western Civilization," which I just picked up with Dad at Borders today. We went together so he could pick out his birthday present and that was what he selected. I was in the store looking at the cover, and reading down the list of things "your college professor didn't tell you." I was reading along and thinking, "MINE told me that!" when I got to the bottom of the list and saw the author's name: Anthony Esolen. Wait a minute! That WAS my college professor!! Sure enough, I flipped it over and saw "An English Professor at Providence College..." I started squeaking and jumping up and down in Borders I was so excited. Fortunately Dad recommended that I take it easy before I made a complete spectacle of myself:) It was SO COOL! Now everyone go buy the book - it's AWESOME. Gretchen has read aloud some very funny things already, and Katie was reading it out loud to me earlier while she was waiting for me to finish up so we could go to Keene and get our computers fixed together... But that's a story for another day. I'm supposed to be starting small here!
Yay! That was fun! I should post more often. I love summertime!
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