First, let it be known that the picture of Derrick's sad face has nothing to do with the fact that I am posting. If anything, it encouraged me to stay away. ha. And yet, due to subconscious people-pleasing compulsions that I cannot control, here I am.
I will take this opportunity to say that my ankle was itchy on the way home from my class today. That's all. Now you know.
Just kidding! There is, of course, a story! My ankle is itchy because it's healing. I had a pretty hefty abrasion there (not quite a cut, though it bled -- one of those weird oozing wounds. yum.), along with several other scratches and bruises on my shins. Last week sometime, I went out for a walk in the woods behind our house to avoid spontaneously combusting and to escape life for a bit. I didn't quite succeed in doing that entirely (though the combusting part was successfully averted), but I ended up having a pretty good time anyway reading my Bible and enjoying the beautiful day. On my way back to the house, I decided to avoid life some more and do my civic duty by clearing out some of the log jams of leaves and sticks and large tree trunks in the dry stream bed (I didn't do so well with the trees, but my attempts were downright amazonian). It was nice to get a little dirty and exert some sort of energy as I imagined the rushing of unresricted water that will flow in the fall because of my herculean efforts.
Unfortunately, my imaginings were being constantly interrupted by Jake (our dog), as he wailed frantically from the other side of the invisible fence several feet away (I was going to say electric fence, but no, we're not that paranoid about them escaping). I put up with it for a while, but since I was in earth-and-animal-friendly mode, I decided to carry him across the fenceline so he could enjoy digging around in the leaves I was moving. He didn't have his collar on, by the way, or he would have been completely traumatized... like that other time when somebody got him zapped by doing that and he was terrified of taking one step in any direction after that. Anyway, as soon as I put him down, I vaguely sensed that it was a stupid thing to do. Sure enough, after 6.2 seconds of sniffing around the stream, it suddenly dawned on Jake that he was free, and he went bounding off gleefully into the miles of underbrush. ARGH! So I went tearing off in what I figured would be a fruitless chase, as I quickly lost sight of him in the woods. But thankfully Jake is incredibly stupid, and he ran around in a big circle and raced right at me. So I tackled him, resulting in the wounds on my right leg.
On the other side of the fence once more, where the grass was distinctly un-green, Jake started howling again. This time I ignored him. That is, until the howling stopped, and I looked up to see him standing in front of me, trembling with excitement. It was the weirdest thing -- he was grinning. It was like he couldn't believe what he'd just gotten away with, and in his pride and ecstacy (and maybe a twinge of conscience), he'd come to show me what he'd done. So we stared each other down for a few seconds before he veered right, ready to disappear forever. However, MY cat-like reflexes (which we all know never fail me...we'll just forget that little quote of yours, laughter) were too quick for him, and I dived into the woods, grabbing his back leg and dragging him to the ground, while simultaneously dragging my left leg on something that hurt (thus the big ol' scrape). Ah, well... battle wounds.
So, poor Jake was thwarted once again (and soon had his collar on again in case he decided to test the fence again), and I decided I was done clearing out the stream. Enough wilderness-woman out of me for one day...
At the risk of sounding a bit cheezy, I have to admit I feel for Jake. He could taste the freedom on the other side enough to know there were joys unimaginable -- new smells, new rodents, new holes to explore -- but they were snatched away as he got dragged back to the confines of his borders. He wasn't allowed to go; he was stuck wondering if it was as amazing as that first taste told him it was. Sorry, Jake. Someday we'll get to the other side... and we'll run forever.
9 comments:
A DEAD CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
However, I will admit you seem to have had a momentary departure from your normal mode of operation.
You know I love you my PP, yes?
:-Þ
Yes. :)
Now I am hurt. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were attempting to make fun of me. I am deeply saddened at such a display of carnality, and shocked.
I think God knew what you were going to do, and punished you early by letting you scrape your ankle! So think twice next time! hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Nice "imaginings" about the products of your effort. I can relate...
Ah, I see that you were taking my "go out on a walk and escape life advice". :)
I wish they had similar devices for children. Then my life here would be a breeze!
What's stopping you from trying an invisible fence device on your children? It would probably work. I imagine the collar is adjustable to fit whatever neck size is needed.
Great post, Melissa! It was quite amusing to imagine you hurling yourself on Jake. I remember a time at your house when a bunch of us were experimenting with the dog collar and the invisible fence ( the dog not being in the collar)...and as I remember it, the zap was pretty unnerving.
Wow. I had no idea that it was Mel posting until she responed to laughter. Then I had to go back and check the author to be sure. So much for being observant. I've always wondered about the zap too. Maybe I'll have to come down and try it out. :-)
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