Joe Schlabotnick

When I was young and idolized Danny's every move, I picked up on his fascination with Joe Schlabotnick. Joe Schlabotnick, for those of you less comic literate, is Charlie Brown's baseball hero, from the comic strip Peanuts. Unfortunately he is a pretty lousy player, with a batting average of something around.016. And .016, for those of you less baseball literate, is terrible.

Now that I am older and still idolize Danny's every move, my childhood fascination lingers. Joe Schlabotnick has become my standard filler. Next time there is an awkward pause in conversation, try inserting a reference to this comic/baseball great. Or if you are struggling to remember a name, just use his instead. I even type his name when I'm having writer's block on an essay or an e-mail.

His name is like a magic charm. It staves off the pauses, the writer's block, and all manner of faux pas. It forces my brain to include something new in its thought processes, thus stimulating it to re-invigorated action.

Although Joe Schlabotnick never made it big in the world of baseball, he made it big in my world. I have certainly never used any other fictional person's name so frequently. He has bailed me out many a time. Most recently, he bailed me out when I sat down to a lovely new document to compose a new post (when I'm home I type the post off-line so I don't tie up the phone line). As I sat there thinking about what to write my fingers automatically flew to the J-o-e S-c-h-l-a-b-o-t-n-i-c-k keys. And I thought, aha! Joe Schlabotnick deserves recogniztion after these years of faithful service.

So thank you, Joe, for enriching my life in so many ways.