A Blustery Day

I got up this morning and was so happy it was raining! This was kind of a strange reaction. But I was feeling so incredibly cozy being in this nice warm comfortable house, without having to step foot outside unless I wanted to. I did end up making two trips to the car today, but that was it!

Inside, where it was warm and dry and safe (not that it was particularly unsafe outside) I spent a most enjoyable day with Melissa, reading, chatting, and watching a movie. It was quiet and relaxed and all that a Sabbath should be.

And all of this was enhanced by the windchimes on the porch (the inspiration for this post). The windows were open, and I could hear them all day, along with the rain on the roof and the wind in the trees. And what a sound they made!

These are special windchimes. My big sister and her family gave them to me for my graduation from PC. She wanted to buy me windchimes, because every time I leave her house I ring the ones she has on her porch. And so she and I went to Keene together to choose some. The whole day was a great one, but those windchimes were the crowning touch. They were made by a man whose goal in making them was to create the most beautiful windchimes in the world. I'm pretty sure he succeeded. My particular ones are called "Gregorian Chimes in A" or something like that. They are so melodious and pure sounding. I've never heard windchimes like them! And all day long they were ringing, creating a beautiful background to the rest and fellowship that the day had.

So next time anyone is in RI, make sure to stop and listen to my windchimes!

Teachers' Workshop

I have now discovered what it's like to be on the other side of "teachers' workshop" days. Ah the joy of them as a child. And even though they now mean something different than a day off, they're still pretty cool. I got to sleep in until 7 this morning!

As a whole the day fluctuated between the excitement of a new, very practical strategy to implement, and the incredible boredom of that mid-afternoon, wicked tired, I-can't-take-any-more-of-this feeling. During the former I was jotting down notes. During the latter I was torn between letting out a Howard Dean-esque yell and putting my head down on my desk and bursting into tears. But the day ended, and I got home early. So all in all, it was a good experience.

I missed my kids though. I kept thinking of things I wanted to tell them or discuss with them. And then I remembered they wouldn't be there. Ah well, Tuesday is coming (no school Monday! Thanks Columbus!).

Good news: ALL of my kids got A's on their Government tests!!! This was especially good since NONE of them got A's the last time around. I must admit, I made their way a bit easier this time. My hints tend to get a little obvious sometimes. But their essays showed some real genuine improvement, which was very heartening.

And now it is the Sabbath, and a long weekend, and I have books and movies from the library. Yay!

Thy spirit ere our fatal loss
Did ever rise from high to higher;
As mounts the heavenward altar-fire,
As flies the lighter thro’ the gross.

But thou art turn’d to something strange.
And I have lost the links that bound
Thy changes; here upon the ground,
No more partaker of thy change.

Deep folly! yet that this could be,–
That I could wing my will with might
To leap the grades of life and light,
And flash at once, my friend, to thee.

Tennyson, In Memoriam XLI

Today's Adventures

I brought my camera to school today so that I could quickly shoot a role, get it developed, and have pictures to show this weekend! The differences in student reactions were intriguing. My high school girls groaned a little, but then proceeded to give me an adorable pose, which I think will turn out great. My high school boys were cooperative, but not exactly riveted by the idea of having their pictures taken. One refused to smile, although a little smirk did escape. The junior high girls were quite enthusiastic by round two, while the junior high boys were mostly delighted with my willingness to take pictures of them making faces and hitting each other. Then there were the second graders who happened to be in the area and begged me to take their pictures, too. So I'll have some pics of random youngsters whose names I do not know. Sigh. My greatest teaching weakness, so far, is my inability to remember names, and sometimes faces, even. Ah well. No one seems to hold it against me yet.

Happy teaching moment: I'm doing The Phantom Tollbooth with my junior high kids, and today I was talking about the old woman Milo found in the dungeon. She told Milo a story about the Princesses Rhyme and Reason (this is such a great book!). So I decided to reenact the scene. I put my glasses way down on the end of my nose, and put a scarf over my head, and borrowed a pencil and pen for knitting needles. I was so thrilled when one of the girls slipped from her seat to sit at my feet. And then another. And then came my trouble-maker! I love him so much. He is hard to keep under control, but we have quite a rapport, and this was such a sign of support and solidarity. Pretty soon almost all of them were there, gathered around my seat, listening to the great tale. What a great teacher moment!

And tomorrow... Fairwood! With Pictures!!!

Actually not all about teaching

The phone rang, and the caller ID said "unknown." Uh oh. I picked up, expecting that pause in which I would quickly slam the phone back down, knowing long pauses are usually telemarketers (once in awhile they aren't, but for the greater good I take on the occasional risk of a puzzled friend to avoid the greater evil of unrelenting telemarketers).

There was no pause this time, but there was definitely "call center" noises in the background. Usually this is still okay, since they ask for Paul or Laura and I say they aren't home (which is true, since I almost never answer the phone when they're here).

But lo and behold, the woman did not ask for Paul and Laura. She said she was conducting a public opinion survey, and wondered if she could ask me a few questions.

HIP HIP HOOOORRRAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!!!

I LOVE public opinion surveys! I gladly settled down in the office, blithely forgetting about the reading quiz I had been creating. She proceeded to ask me questions about whether I was liberal or conservative, what I thought the most pressing issue facing America today was, whether I worked for a newspaper (?), and whether I was favorable or unfavorable towards Bush. I answered these with firm conviction, and rising spirits (which were already pretty good following a great walk w/ Melissa).

Then she asked what I thought the most pressing issue facing RI was. Um, RI? (Is this the time where I confess I'm not even registered to vote here? Naaaaaa.) I said I didn't know. Then she asked me all these RI names, and whether I was favorable or unfavorable towards them. Luckily Melissa was in the room - I would quickly whisper the names to her and she would tell me whether they were good or not. They were mostly not. This is RI, after all.

But part way through the phone call, I realized that one of the names was running against another of the names in the Republican primary. Aha! Anyone running against Lincoln Chafee in the Republican primary HAS to be more conservative that he is! So I quickly began changing my tune, and answering my questions in a way that amounted to singing his praises.

She finished with: "If the Republican primary was held today, would you vote for Chafee or Laffey?"

"Laffey!" I responded with the conviction born of extensive study and wild-eyed activism, despite the fact that I'd never heard his name until about 3 minutes previous.

So now, all you readers who live in RI (yes, listen up all three of you!), vote for Laffey!

Throughout the conversation, I kept having this little niggling doubt in the back of my mind. What if I was answering all these questions about my political views and religious philosophies and such (yes, they know that I'm protestant and pro-life and conservative - they asked), and then was coming out in rabid support of some flaming liberal? That would throw some strange curves into their survey!

Rest easy, gentle readers. I looked him up on line and he is indeed more conservative than Chafee.

GO LAFFEY!

(PS. I still love teaching! And today one of my students actually brought me an apple! Hee hee hee)
(PPS. I've always loved apples - another indication that I'm in the right place.)

More Teaching Moments

Newsflash: I LOVE TEACHING! (That was for anyone who has not read my blog before, and thus hasn't seen the other 74 times I've said that.)

Weird Teaching Moment of the Week: When the students didn't know who AM was on the schedule - thinking surely it would say "MM" (for Miss Murray) if it meant me.

A First: Today was picture day! A photographer came in and got group pics and individual pics. This school is much cooler than my high school about picture taking, because in this school we got to have the pictures taken outside with a rustic New England background. I imagine this is the difference between 900 students and 49 students.

Happiest Teaching Moment of the Week: Today I was telling my high school about something that happened in middle school science. "I wish you were our science teacher," said one kid. "And math," he added. "And everything else!" said another. Did someone tell them I was a words of aff person and would give them better grades on the exams they were about to take if they buttered me up a bit? Because it probably worked.

On second thought, it probably didn't. I found something to work on: essay writing. They are very juvenile in their essay responses on tests. Don't worry - I'll whack 'em once, and they will start learning fast:) Oh, and comma usage. YIKES! I didn't know it was possible to use so many commas in one sentence.

Happy Realization of the Week: Just because you wake up in the morning more exhausted than you've been in months, it doesn't mean the day will be a bad one! In fact, it might get better and better as it goes along, and end up your favorite day of the week.

Looking Ahead: After watching my 7th and 8th graders perform a play of Nathaniel Hawthorne's "The Minister's Black Veil" (the mauling of the subtleties of the story probably had ol' Nate spinning in his grave), and seeing how well they did (I was SO proud - we'd never had an uninterrupted/unprompt-filled rehearsal, and the actual play went flawlessly, if you don't count one brief fit of giggles), the headmaster asked me to entertain the idea (just entertain, he assured me) of directing a play at the end of the year. He'd like something that demonstrates the classical model, has costumes and set, and involves everyone from 5th grade up with parent participation. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! All this after I was saying to Melissa that it was going to be a LONG time before I attempted another play... But, strangely, I was quite captured by the idea, and will probably be sending out invitations sometime around April or May:)

Happy Sabbath everyone! (And let me tell you - I am sure relishing my Sabbaths these days!)

Where Will it End?

I've found myself going to unusual lengths for the sake of education...

It was pretty normal when I was stopping at Wal Mart to buy posterboard and crayons.

But soon I was in Michaels buying modeling clay. Somehow that seems a little more strange.

That wasn't much compared to going door to door in the "Brown Compound" collecting milk jugs and turn tables for a science experiment.

But all of that was left far in the dust when I found myself CUTTING THE LINING OUT OF MY SKIRT so that I would have a black veil for the class play!

Chiaroscuro In the Cellar

I'm seeing compositions everywhere. I've got 16 drawings down, 14 to go by Monday. Yes, that would be 30 drawings -- and we were given one week to complete them. (This is Melissa, by the way... no, Andrea hasn't been roped into teaching art on top of everything else at that crazy school). Of course I'm blissfully and restfully not thinking about work right now, but calm reflection is okay. WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER CHOOSE TO BE AN ART MAJOR? 30 drawings is pretty crazy (in all fairness, they're only supposed to be 10 minute drawings, but with preparation and proper psyching-up, that's still a whole lotta time and energy), but I'm learning a lot, and I think this art stuff is starting to sink in. I'm starting to see why some compositions work and others don't, why something on the left side of the page has more visual weight than something on the right, how large shapes catch more attention on top than on the bottom, since the viewer subconsciously expects heavier things to be grounded. Cool, eh? A lot of it really breaks down to a science, and learning the tricks of the trade is kind of like learning a secret language. All these things that I could see vaguely before, but now I know why they work... it's kind of exciting. A little weird too, because I'm learning to appreciate art that, to the average Philistine (hehe), just looks like a bunch of lines or scribbles or confusing shapes drawn by a five-year-old. It may not be all that aesthetically pleasing on first glance, but it makes SENSE! The artist knew what he was doing! And it's all pointing more and more to an Artist who most certainly knows what HE is doing. I feel like I'm starting to catch new glimpses into the mysteries of Heaven as I increasingly notice how amazing light is, and what an infinite number of shapes and colors and perfect compositions are contained in God's creation. WOW! I know the God who thought all this stuff up! And all these insightful but often extremely worldly artists haven't even scratched the surface of the Beauty that will someday be revealed in its entirety.

Oh, and...Mind-Expanding Blogging Quiz!!...anybody know what that fancy art word in the title means? About the cellar part -- I found out (after a not-so-encouraging critique) that I can focus neither in my room nor in the middle of humanity downstairs (not that there's much humanity left around here these days...), and my art prof suggested that I really need to do something different, like come in and draw at school. Ew. Instead, I have sequestered myself in the basement. My garret, as it were. Though "garret" brings to mind words like "high" and "airy" and "bright"... instead of ones like "underground," "musty," and "dark," which much more aptly fit the space. Oh well -- whatever works. Dungeonlike or not, it's a change of scenery with plenty of room, away from distraction. And I can adjust the light; before, I was waiting until it got dark enough to draw without having to deal with natural light (not really a great time-management technique). If I keep working down there, I'm hoping to jazz it up a little by putting up inspirational posters with slogans such as "CONTRAST BUILDS CONFIDENCE!" and "LIGHT MAKES RIGHT!" Hope nobody was hoping to play ping-pong or pool anytime soon... the charcoal is flying.

Yup, Still Awesome

This morning began just right - with bagels from Panera. For my Classical Lit class I had them telling Greek myths so they could learn the stories the way the ancient Greeks would have - by hearing them, not reading them. And since bards can't really work very well without banquets I brought Panera bagels and juice (which I called ambrosia, much to the students' confusion).

They did fantastically on their storytelling, and they seemed to enjoy it! The only problem came between stories, while they were washing bagels off their hands, and Mr. Bailey came in. Here is the principal of the school, expecting rigorous learning, and finding a class full of kids goofing off and munching on bagels! It's not what you think, Mr. Bailey!

And then, to make matters worse, in he came at the end of the day, right after I realized I had time left over in class (after their exam - the first exam I've given - and current events) and allowed them to use it by eating the left over bagels. Ahhh! Here we were goofing off and eating bagels again! I'm surprised he didn't fire me on the spot. Fortunately his son is in my high school class, and his daughter is in my junior high class, and they have apparently been giving positive reports at home. Phew!

I wish you, my reader, could know my students. What an amazing group they are! So unique, so interesting, so funny, so enthusiastic. Ahhhh, what a joy they are. I was already thinking about how they had jolly well better come back and visit after they graduate.

My Classical Lit class asked if I'd be there next year. I said I hoped so. They said they'd almost never had a Lit teacher stay for more than a year. I asked what that said about them. They laughed. I LOVE TEACHING!

Weird Teaching Moment #5 (or so)

Student: Have you seen Napoleon Dynamite?

Miss Murray: Yes!

Student: Did you like it?

Miss Murray: Yes, it was hilarious.

Student: It seems like nobody's parents like the movie. They all think it's dumb or pointless.

Miss Murray: Ya, it seems pretty generational.

Student: What does that mean?

Miss Murray: Only people in a certain age group like it.

[Pause]

Student: Then why do you like it?

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! How old do these people think I am?! I'm being classed with people's parents!!! Natural, I suppose, but still a weird moment:)

Another First: Grading Papers!

After a quick call to Danny, when I realized that I had no idea how to grade papers, I sat down and delved into 7th and 8th grade book reports. I've been pleasantly surprised at their writing abilities, although I must admit to laughing out loud a few times. Here are some of my favorite passages:

[On The War of the Worlds] "Unless you like to read books that have too much detail I do not recommend this book."

[On Mr. Jekll and Mr. Hyde] "The main problem is Mr. Hyde lurking about and committing evil because he murdered someone and stomped on a little girl."

[On Treasure Island] "The theme is don't turn to piracy or you will find your self on the gallows."

[On Perelandra] "The only way to stop this spirit was to beat the stuffing out of Weston and thus knocking the spirit out of his senses."

[Also on Perelandra] "Altogether, this book was suspenseful, imaginative, and thought-provoking although it does lack accurate knowledge of the make up of the solar system as Venus is made up entirely of volcanic activity."

Have I Mentioned Lately that I Love Teaching?

Saturday morning. I wake up. I think about school. I look forward to Monday.

WEIRD!!!

Other weird things:
-Having students call me Mrs. Murray (Miss Murray is weird enough!).
-Having Ethan (my 10th grade boy) ask "Is that your name?" when I typed Andrea into the computer. It turns out Andrea is also his grandmother's name!
-Having students respond to my attempts at "the look."

And now for some awesome teaching moments:
-My 7th grade Lit class embodying everything I pictured when I thought "English teacher." They came to class brimming with questions and ideas about the reading (Hawthorne's The Minister's Black Veil, which will hold a very special place in my heart from now on...). And they went through class with excitement, and by the end, awe, as they uncovered what the story was really about.
-Lively discussion in my Government class. I have a double period Gov't class on Fridays, so we're going to do current events. It turns out there is a Democrat in my class! But the other three are pretty rabid Republicans, from what I could gather from one class. This made for invigorating conversation, and a real excitement in the air at some points. They all (even the poor lonely Democrat) sounded really positive afterwards, and agreed that they wanted to continue with the current events. Woo hoo!
-Also invigorating discussion in the teacher's lounge. We started on Hawthorne (someone asked me for the Cliff Notes version of The Minister's Black Veil) and we moved to Puritans and, yes, churches with closed communion and churches that think the Bride of Christ is an exclusive group. I, needless to say, kept a low profile by the end of the conversation... Ah the excitement!

Some Firsts:
-I gave my first quiz yesterday! The kids did not do very well, I don't think. We'll have to work on that...
-I have my first batch of papers to grade (gulp). They did summer book reports. Fortunately, I think I have leeway to grade non-stringently at first.
-I went the northern route on my way in, and discovered it to be shorter!

Bonus:
-My entire 7th and 8th grade class is made up of Red Sox fans!
-Everyone seems to enjoy the wild tangents that I frequently pursue.
-My kids have good senses of humor! There is one boy in particular who can make me laugh really hard.
-I like each of my students! There are none that I feel like I'll have to endure till summer. They are unique and fun and interesting.
-Daddy was able to come visit my school, since he was in Newport on other business!

In Conclusion:
-Thank the Lord, thank the Lord, thank the Lord!

I still love teaching!

Day 2: So far so good!

Today was even better than yesterday! Learning from my mistakes, I had more material to present in a more interesting way, and thus got my high schoolers on board. The 7th and 8th graders were just as on board as yesterday, if not more so. I'm thinking that I'm going to love teaching all day long, and be a little more skeptical when preparing at night.

I got to write on a chalk board today! And write I did... I covered the thing.

And I got to share my #1 Literary Fact: Wherefore means why, not where. Thus, when Juliet says "Wherefore art thou Romeo?" she is asking "Why are you Romeo?" as in, "Why did you have to be from the family that hates my family?" My 7th and 8th graders were fascinated:)

Another great day!

Now I'm Really a Teacher!!!

I'm taking a quick moment from my lesson plans to let everyone know: I LOVE TEACHING! I came bounding into the teachers' lounge at lunchtime, full of enthusiasm. The other teachers gave me tolerant smiles and told me to hold onto that for around the middle of the year. But how could I help being excited, when my first class (7th and 8th grade Literature - a fabulous group of kids!) ended with one of the girls leaving a note behind that said "We love Miss Murray!" Ahhhh! I'm such a teacher! I was elated:) And yes, she is getting straight A's.

This morning I had the realization that the day had arrived for which I have been waiting for years, to one degree or another. I always used to say I wanted to teach, and now here I am. Amazing!

But man oh man, it's tons of work - and I need to get back to it...

I'm Pretty Much a Teacher!

I have a grade book. And a lesson plan book. And I ate lunch in the teacher's lounge. I'm at staff meetings, and talking about kids' needs, and discussing corrective action.

I'm a teacher!

I didn't write yesterday, partly because the main thing I thought of was Buttercup's declaration "We'll never survive" as she and Westley are entering the Fire Swamp. I even tried it out loud to get the accent right. Very effective.

But actually I wasn't all that gloomy yesterday, and I certainly wasn't gloomy today. Tired, yes. Gloomy, no. For one thing, I love the people I'm going to be working with. They have wonderful senses of humor, and are ready to help at the drop of a hat.

So now all that remains to be seen is what the kids are like. And what teaching is like. And if I will or will not actually survive.

But really, my courage is quite good. I know the year will be hard. I will have no social life to speak of. I will be tired all the time. But I will be TEACHING! And teaching LITERATURE.

I will also be teaching US Government and Earth Science (scratch the New Testament survey class). I never thought I'd see the day when I would be teaching science. But it's coming. Try next Wednesday.

So folks, while this is an update on events of late, it is also a bit of a farewell. Remember that part about no social life? That pretty much meant no free time (i.e. no blog time). Sigh. And Melissa just started college and has three self portraits due by next week so she'll be out of it too. My best guess is that there might be an update each weekend, but I'm not even sure about that. It's been fun while it lasted! And who knows, maybe teaching will be a breeze and I'll have oodles of time for sitting around writing fascinating tales of the world of education. But I'm not counting on it.

New Feature

Just so nobody is confused, allow me to explain the new step required for leaving comments. You have to type in the little word that you see in order to insure that you are a real person and not some nefarious blog spammer. Clever, clever Blogger, coming up with a way to thwart the dark side! Go ahead and try it out everyone. It's fun!

Teaching Nightmares

Last week I was wondering why I hadn't had any yet. But it has happened at last: teaching nightmares. I dreamed about getting up in front of a classroom with no idea what I should say or what I should make them do. I had done zero preparation and was desperately watching the clock, wondering if I could fill the time with small group discussion. Terrifying.

I also had college nightmares before college began, acting nightmares from drama, and even wedding nightmares on Gretchen's behalf! As I recall she didn't have any. I took care of them for her.

The reassuring thing about this kind of dream is the realization when you awake that there is no way it could really happen. I will most definitely be more prepared to teach than that. And I figure, what better way to take care of stress than while you're sleeping? It's multi-tasking, for one thing - so productive. And for another, the waking moments aren't so frenzied because you know it can't be as bad as the dream, and you concentrate on making sure of that by planning/studying/memorizing/etc. And the dreams stop once the reality of college/teaching/wedding actually takes place. The only draw-back to the whole dream thing is that horrible out-of-control feeling during the actual dream. But that never lasts too long.

I go in tomorrow for my first day of teacher training!

Smug and Superior

Once upon a time, there was a huge offense perpetrated against lovers of literature everywhere. I was walking through the kitchen at Fairwood, back in the day, and glanced over at the white board to see what illuminating quote had been placed there this time. The board read:

"To thine own self be true." -- Oprah

OPRAH?!?! Try Shakespeare.

How dreadful that some icon of popular culture would take a line straight out of Hamlet (it's from Polonius' speech to his son) and twist it to mean some liberal, feel-good "be true to yourself" catch phrase. Besides, when Polonius was saying this, he meant look out for number one. He was giving pragmatic, if not selfish, advice. Oprah, forsooth!

Something similar happened recently. Melissa and I were trying to remember who said "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." We decided, as is our usual m.o., to google it. Up it popped as a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt. I don't think so. I scrolled down farther and sure enough, it was Milton. Another hero of literary history being robbed of his right by some lesser mortal. Of course, Eleanor Roosevelt seems like a great woman and all, but still...

All of this brings to mind a book Dad was reading a year or so ago. It was an adventure story, part of which took place in Jerusalem! He was reading along about this guy in his getaway car in the Old City. He was a little skeptical, but decided it was possible to have a car in the particular place described in the book. But then he read as the car turned and went down the street to exit through the Damascus gate. At that point Dad was unable to suspend reality any longer. The Damascus gate?! Clearly the author had never been there, and was basing his descriptions on some street map. You see, street maps don't show the fact that that street, leading out the Damascus gate, is impossible for cars to maneuver, due to the fact that it is a series of steps! And don't forget the masses of people and carts and goods for sale (that was the low point of my Israel experience - I've never been so glad to get out into an open space...).

Dad was telling me about this, and I was laughing about it, and commenting about how cool it was that we knew first-hand that this author was out in left field somewhere.

Dad understood, and suggested that perhaps the words I was looking for to describe my feelings were "smug and superior."

Thoughts on the Disengagement

Israel's recent move to pull out of the Gaza strip was a confusing situation for me to evaluate, as a distant, non-Jewish American. Of course I'm an avid supporter of Israel, but at the same time I know there is a serious Palestinian need. I don't trust the Palestinian leadership at all, but there are legitimately needy people there that have nothing to do with the Palestinian government or the terrorist activity. Nonetheless, I hated to see Israel giving up territory to people who despise them and want nothing but their total destruction. It didn't seem very logical to me. But the problem has gone on so long that perhaps some new tactic is what is necessary.

These were my vague thoughts - a bit wishy washy. But recently my thoughts took a slightly different bent. I thought of the incredible spirit of those settlers who were willing to risk everything - their lives, their children's lives, their livelihood - and go to live in the middle of hostile territory. I thought of their vision, their purpose, that amazing drive to fulfill their destiny. I found myself wanting to emulate their spirit in my own life. They are heroes. And they are watching as their own nation - the people for whose future they were laying down their lives - turns against them. Their mission has seemingly failed. They weren't even defeated by enemies, but by friends. Their sorrow at this time must be overwhelming.

Recently I was listening to a broadcast on the Internet. A man who had lived in one of these settlements was talking about the devastation of leaving - and yet the prevailing Jewish spirit that was refusing to be defeated. Even as the settlers knew they would have to give up the protests and leave (not wanting to jeopardize their children with violent resistance) they were dancing and singing the revered Jewish song of unity. The man spoke of his faith in a God who who would take this devastation and make something good come from it.

I tend to think the pullout is a bad idea - it is a concession to outside pressure and a seeming concession to terrorist activity - but political issues aside, the human story there is heartbreaking. I honor those men and women for their vision. And I'm believing for a day when they will see that vision realized beyond what they could ever imagine.

Cruisin'

Yes, I still exist. Once again, I have been rejoicing in the freedom of obligation-free bandwagoning. But I decided that it really is time to throw a bone to my eager readers, especially with such goings on of late. So get ready for over-compensation of femur-like proportions.

For those of you who don't know, I went on a cruise last week! Kind of a last-minute, last-family-vacation-before-everyone-moves-away type deal. So where did we go? To the Caribbean, you may ask? Well, no. To Canada. Poor TJ -- when he told his friends, they responded, "yeah, that sounds like a typical Tim vacation: Israel, Canada...". Hey, not EVERYBODY goes to Puerto Rico and Italy, people. I wonder what they would have said if Amy and I had dragged TJ along on the Vatican City trip we were dreaming about...

Anyway, as we left the hot, wet blanket that passed as air in New York, I was glad we were going north. I wore my Sox visor proudly as we were getting ready to board the ship, and to my delight I got a negative response from the security guys. I told them smugly that I just had to rub it in a little... One of them was a Mets fan and tried to pull an '86 jab on me, but it was completely lame and I reminded him that '86 meant nothing anymore. It's a beautiful thing.

So, the ship was pretty much huge. Crazy huge. With pools, fancy restaurants, shops, a theater, a gym and spa (and yes... the inevitable casino and many minibar-housing lounge).... All big and impressive until we saw our room. We knew it would be pretty tight fitting five of us in one stateroom... and we were not disappointed. It was probably 10x20, with two twin size beds, a cot set up next to one of them, two bunk thingies that folded down from the wall, and a tv shoved in the corner. And one bathroom. Cozy. No, actually it really ended up being fine. There were plenty of drawers and such so we didn't have to deal with suitcases, and we were gone doing other things most of the day anyway. The only time it was really a pain was in the morning and at night when people were up at different times and you had to maneuver your way around the remaining 2 feet of space looking for your stuff in the windowless darkness. Good thing we're all so naturally patient with one another...

There was lots of stuff to do onboard -- games and trivia, various shows, contests, and the inevitable karaoke. No, we didn't participate in the karaoke, though it was tempting as person after tone-deaf person got up there and made fools of themselves. I have to admit that some of the singers were actually quite good, and all were braver than I. It made for amusing entertainment. I got called up for one of the gameshow type trivia things, and I got my own chance to make a fool of myself... there was a question about what one would do when one heard this particular song, and then next thing I knew, the three contestants (my dad was another one, coincidentally) were supposed to perform the "YMCA" on stage (with the audience joining in). Good thing I'm such a killer dancer. HA. I pathetically tried to follow what everyone else was doing, but in the end I just kind of bobbed around and waved my arms. I always have been confused about how to make the "M" and the "A"... The gameshow "host," British assistant cruise director Marcus (who reminded me of a taller and slimmer version of Marnus, you food bank folk), declared all our attempts "rubbish." Ah, well. I made TJ proud, as was of course my goal (yes, he did eventually speak to me again). And for the record, I have since learned how to do the "YMCA" properly (the downside being the stupid song has been stuck in my head now for days...).

Another personal highlight was the day when my dad and I wandered in partway through a "win, lose, or draw" competition. I gasped as I caught sight of the big white board containing indecipherable scribbles, observed the desperate gestures of the marker-laden hands of the man in front, and heard the cacophony of shouted nouns. Could it be? Yes! PICTIONARY!!!! WOOO!!! They were getting ready for a speed round, where one contestant from each team tries to get through as many drawings as possible in two minutes. My pride swelled: "pshh -- I do that for fun at home!" I leapt in as an unknown ringer for my team (since the word had spread, thanks to my dad, that "she's an artist"). Oh yes. The organizer of the game seemed to take pity on me as a young naive player in over her head (everyone seems to think I'm 16 or something... I'm still waiting for the day when it will be a compliment to hear I look younger than my sister), and she let me skip the first clue, which was "Sleepless in Seattle." I admit I was thankful, but when I got the next clue ("Lassie") I was on a roll. Though my knees were literally shaking (weird), I was in my element. The blue team cruised to the finish with one more point than the second-place team, and I was a hero. I won a 24-karat-gold plastic ship on a stick (a joke used approximately 15 times a day which, amazingly, people around me laughed at every time). Thus, I have officially "arrived" in the competitive world of Pictionary.

I can't leave out the food. Basically the majority of our activities involved eating. We were assigned our table for a fancy dinner every night, with our jokester waiter Iputu (from Indonesia, I believe... the crew was quite the league of nations. Our assistant waitress was from Romania). All the food was included on the cruise, so pigging out was a must. Appetizers, salads, entrees and desserts. Yum. I tried quail or pheasant or some such small fowl one night, and though it was a little disturbing to see the whole thing sitting on my plate with its little crossed legs and jutting wings, I got over it and it tasted pretty good. [Ew. It grossed me out again writing that] Anyway... there were buffets galore, including one at midnight some nights, and unlimited soft-serve ice cream, and 24-hour pizzas. One night there was a big shindig where all the world-class chefs displayed their carved vegetable sculptures and other meals that were works of art in themselves... At first they just opened the buffet line so people could look at and take PICTURES of the food, which was interesting yet torturous, and then later they opened it up again for consumption. We sampled some of the dishes, but for the most part they looked better than they tasted. That could partly be because we ate it at like 1 am, when gourmet food isn't quite as impressive to the stomach.

Our stops in St. John and Halifax were quite pleasant, made far more pleasant by the fact that I got to see both Susie and Maureen! What are the odds that my two Canada friends would be in the two very cities we docked at? Somehow I managed to forget about the one-hour time difference on BOTH days, so they both had to wait around and wonder if I'd fallen overboard. But when we finally connected they proved excellent tour guides for our excursion days, and it was so awesome to see them and get a chance to catch up after all this time. Susie took me to one of the most amazing breakfast places I've ever been to (free advertising for Cora's), where I had a massive crepe filled with strawberries and chocolate hazelnut spread, topped with whipped cream. OH MY. On the other end of the spectrum, I was introduced to some freakish substance the natives call "dulce" -- basically dried seaweed that they sell in bags like popcorn. We asked if we could try a sample, and the vendor cheerily showed me a picture of the "before" version of what I was eating: piles of slimy seaweed on rocks that I recognized from trips to the beach. It was pretty much the grossest thing I've ever tasted: like chewy, salty, rotten-fish-flavored grass. But somehow, I feel it needed to be experienced. In Halifax, I got to see the famed "Bluenose" with her sails unfurled,


and the added bonus of Theodore Tugboat:

Maureen showed us some of the places where she hangs out; it was a really cool lil city. Lots of hills and old stone buildings and cool little shops and such. We went to a place called "Freak Lunchbox" which was quite entertaining. They must have every kind of weird "candy" in the world, including gummy fried eggs and dried worms. Yum. We had nice weather on both off-shore days, which made everything even better, as I got to ineffectively work on my nonexistent tan. But of course the best part was the personal connections. Yay for good friends in faraway lands! EVERYBODY GO VISIT SUSIE AND MO IN CANADA!!

So, to conclude this massive post (giving you a run for you money there, eh Craig?), we had a great time. Sometimes the carnality got to be a bit overwhelming, as could be expected on such a vacation, but I was pleasantly surprised by how good things were in general, and there was lots to enjoy. Sunsets over the unending horizon of the Atlantic, naps on deck with the breeze blowing by (and out of earshot of the constant Calypso music), wandering around exploring the various sights and sounds and smells of the perpetual activity below deck, getting pictures taken by persuasive photographers (almost Jerusalem shopkeeper caliber, though less stressful), spending some quality time with the fam... good times. I'm thankful for such a unique opportunity.

The problem is, I keep on swaying... and they tell me the house isn't moving. I'm such a seafarer all of a sudden. Put me back on a boat!